Sisters

This post is long overdue. I've been wanting to document the amazing story about my half sister, but it's so big that I was waiting for some wisdom to help me process it. As it turns out, I don't have any, so I'll just do the best I can.

My 33rd birthday ended up being one I'll never forget.

My parents came to town to watch Evie while Matt and I went up to Philadelphia for a wedding. On Friday before we left town, my mom said she had something to tell me. My dad took Evie out as my mom sat down with me, placing an envelope on the table. She took out a letter and told me that when she was 19, she had a baby and put her up for adoption. I have a half-sister I never knew about. My poor mom was completely terrified to tell me, still carrying the heavy burden of shame and guilt she'd held on to for 46 years.

A few months prior, the adoption agency contacted my mom to see if she would accept a letter from her daughter. Although she was terrified of what might happen, my mom agreed and was so relieved upon receiving Rene's letter. In it, Rene explained that while she had always been curious about her birth mother, it wasn't until having her children that she fully appreciated the sacrifice my mom made and felt compelled to find her and thank her.

It was indeed an enormous sacrifice and the beginning of the story is profoundly sad. My mom grew up in a devout Catholic family in a small town in Oklahoma and when she became pregnant, she went to live with her older sister in another city and rarely left her house for the next 8 months. She was told nothing about the birthing process, which understandably ended up being traumatic. The day after giving birth, a nun came for my mom in the recovery room and told her it was time to say goodbye to her baby. She was to know nothing more about the child and was not even allowed to find out if she was ever adopted. For 46 years my mom had nightmares of her baby crying all alone with no one to love her. It's impossible to comprehend that pain.

Thankfully, that was far from the truth and she was adopted by a loving couple who had tried unsuccessfully for 6 years to have a baby. Rene is impossibly kind, sweet and big-hearted and I am ecstatic to call her my sister.

In February, my (full) sister and I flew down to Texas to meet her. I got there a day early and had a chance to spend some one-on-one time with her. I wasn't nervous, but definitely didn't know what to expect. I certainly didn't expect to look at her for the first time and immediately feel like I'd known her my entire life. The connection was instant. We spent the weekend telling stories and comparing traits. We talked about my mom's story and how thankful we are. There were a lot of hugs and tears. It's remarkable how much I love her already. I can only compare it to the instant bond I had upon meeting Evie for the first time. She also has an awesome husband and three hilarious boys and we're planning a time for our two families to meet.

Discovering a half-sibling may be pretty epic, but day to day life with a 2.5 year old is filled with plenty of drama of its own. Our girl is usually funny and sweet, but she's not immune to the occasional mega-meltdown. It would be easy to pass off as a case of terrible twos, but the sources of her frustration would send any rational human into a screaming rage. Recent examples would include my inability to translate for Jack (YOU TELL ME WHAT HE'S SAYIN!!!!!!) and the infuriating reality that the sun doesn't have a face (BUT WHERE IS IT?!!!?).

She also has good ideas. Because my mom will eat bruised bananas, Evie decided that "Nana likes gross things" and often offers suggestions for gifts, like Jack's poop or molded cheese. While those are in fact delightful presents, they wouldn't be appropriate for a birthday. For that, Evie had other plans. I walked in on her brushing the inside of the toilet bowl with her toothbrush and when I angrily asked what she was thinking, her eyes filled with tears and in the most genuine tone explained to me that she just wanted to give something special to Nana for her birthday. I thought it was precious... Nana didn't seem to agree.

And now for a lengthy photo dump:

After meeting Rene in Houston, I met my parents and Evie in Orlando. Matt met us later. Here we are at the luau, where Evie perfected her ability to be both hyper and adorable.

Not now, Mom.

Enamored with Pooh. Not so enamored with Eeyore, "because he's sad." She refused to hug him. Incidentally, I'm doing a stellar job of teaching her the importance of empathy. 

Not pleased with the princess float. On a recent visit, Evie told my mom she was no longer allowed to call her "Princess" and suggested "Ladybug" instead. Good choice, Evie.

Overcoming fears! She was so brave she wanted to ride twice.

She spent about 5 minutes telling the Easter Bunny what she wanted. First on the list were the "Ay Chihuahuas," inspired by her love of Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2, and also some "Easter Bunny things."

Evie can now dress herself! Hot for 2013: shorts that can also double as skirts.

back view

Easter excitement